Are your Neighbors Swingers?
Every neighborhood has its secrets. While your neighborhood may not be on a Wisteria Lane a la Desperate Housewives level for salacious scandal, even the smallest of towns have their fair share of taboos. It raises a question: are their swingers in your neighborhood?
Who knows, there could be cuckolding occurring right on your culdasac. Could the women you rotate car-pool schedules with be rotating partners as well? Perhaps even your local pickleball league substitutes as a way to find other pickles and balls to play with? Popstar has the tips (and so much more than just the tip) on how to spot the swingers in your neighborhood.
What are Swingers?
Swingers is a term used to describe people in committed relationships who engage in sexual activity with other partners or singles for recreational purposes. Swinging is a form of non-monogamy in which both parties in a relationship engage in group sex or the swapping of partners within a group, usually on a habitual basis.
Swinging, commonly known as hotwife, or wife-swapping, was introduced in the 1950s and became popular during the sexual revolution of the 1960s. With increased access to contraceptives and the emergence of treatments for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), more people were able to safely and sexually explore outside their marriages with less risk. Sounds intriguing, right?
Signs of Swingers
Are you ready to embrace your inner Sixpence None the Richer and swing, swing down by the bearded barley? Could that lyric have been referring to swingers all along? Regardless, we digress. If being a swinger is, in fact, something that interests both you and your partner, it raises other questions. How do you find the swingers in your neighborhood?
Now there are websites and even apps designed to help couples satisfy their swinging needs, but before technology, people had to look for physical signs. While we do have technology to lean on, there are still universal signs and physical provocative pointers to keep an eye out for.
Upside Down Pineapple
How perfectly Popstar! If you have been following along on our “Sex Stuff” blog journey you know that we are pineapple superfans. Pineapples are inherently sexual as they contain bromelain, an enzyme that enhances the taste of your 💦. So it is no surprise that pineapples are also used as a symbol for swingers.
The upside-down pineapple is a playful twist on the fruit’s traditional meaning of sharing. So if you see this flipped fruit in someone’s home, chances are the homeowners could be willing to share even their spouses. After all, sharing is caring. If you are looking to scout out the potential swingers in your area, keep your eyes peeled for pineapple doorknockers.
Pink Flamingos
Turns out pink lawn flamingos aren’t just a way for Floridians to add a pop of color to their front yard, it is also a universal sign to let your neighbors know that you’re in the market to knock some boots. Or, in this case, flock some boots.
Lawn ornaments not your thing? Some swingers even incorporate flamingos into their decor. Could that be why we have seen an uptick in pink flamingo tchotchkes at HomeGoods? Is it so people can successfully show their dinner party guests that they’re seeking other swingers? Perhaps pink flamingos can be the theme for the tablescape of your next dinner party.
Garden Gnomes
While we are on the subject of lawn ornaments: If your neighbor's garden looks like a scene from Gnomeo and Juliet, they could be looking to partake in partner swapping. Much like pink flamingos, garden gnomes have a history of being used to show which households are safe spaces for wife-swapping.
Adirondack Chairs
Adirondack chairs could also be used as a universal sign of swinging. Chances are if your neighbors have these chairs around their fire pit, they may be looking to play spousal musical chairs. When it comes to this swinger sign, color is everything, as different color chairs have different meanings. According to Urban Dictionary, white chairs can indicate that the couple is into pegging while purple indicates that anything goes.
Since Adirondack chairs are so wildly popular, it may be best to look for multiple swingers signs before you and your partner make any moves. Your neighbors may have no idea their lawn is giving the green light for spouse swapping and we wouldn’t want you to do anything that would warrant a “for sale” sign on yours.
Pampas Grass
The lore runs deep with this one. The affiliation between pampas grass and swingers became so common knowledge that nurseries even saw a decline in sales of the once-popular shrub. The good news is, if you are using this as a sign to promote your promiscuity, it should make it very easy for other swingers to spot you, as you will most likely be the only house on the block with pampas grass. That is unless you live in a swingers community.
White Rocks
Why is almost every sign for swingers yard and garden related? Did Better Home and Gardens write the rulebook for how to let the rest of your neighborhood know you are in an open marriage? Another swinger-worthy addition to your garden is white rocks. White rocks and gravel, whether it be in your garden, or even in your driveway is another sign for swingers. The stones signify an open invitation to neighbors to come and play with your stones and get their rocks off with you and your partner.
Black Rings
Could bling be a sign that your neighbors are looking to boink your boyfriend? It turns out that signs for swingers aren’t exclusive to landscaping. In fact, black rings on the right hand indicate that the wearer may be down to clown. Any finger will do, other than the middle finger, which can be used as a symbol for asexuality. If you are out at a party and notice another person has the same taste in jewelry, it may be safe to assume they share the same taste in sexual interests. A coy opener to the conversation could be, “ I love your ring, I think we may be part of the same club.” 😉
Things to Consider Before Swinging
The recipe for successful swinging is simple: communication and consent. First, you will want to have an open dialogue with your partner to decide if the swingers lifestyle is right for you. You will also need to decide what type of swinging you and your partner are interested in. Are you looking to partake in group sex or would you like to bring in a guest star? Perhaps you are looking to play separately, spouse swap, and then come home to swap stories of your sex-capades. Decide what is right for you and your partner, have clear boundaries, and continue to check in on one another to make sure everyone is still comfortable.
Consent is a non-negotiable for swingers. Remember, if your partner is unaware that you are a swinger, then it isn’t swinging at all, that is just plain adultery, and no one wants that. As always, consent is necessary for all parties involved. Make sure that everyone you are interested in engaging with sexually is equally as comfortable as you and your partner. Consent is ongoing and should be revisited every step of the way.
If you and your partner have had the conversation, have done your research, and have decided that the swinging could be for you, it may be time to keep your eyes peeled. Who knows, the signs could’ve been there all along, perhaps even closer to home than you thought!