Guest post by Dr. Evan Goldstein, co-founder of Future Method and founder of Bespoke Surgical.
There are a lot of misconceptions about bottoming, from long and tedious preparation, to pain and bleeding, to being able to jump on the first dick that you see. The good news is: none of that is true if you have the right tools to succeed. Sadly, most of us didn’t learn the right way to bottom (or top) and were left skimming Reddit forums, asking friends, and watching porn. But you can put those days behind you, thanks to a special guest blog post by none other than one of the world’s leading anal surgeons and experts on all things anal sex, Dr. Evan Goldstein, co-founder of Future Method and founder of Bespoke Surgical. Shall we get into it? Here's how to get better in bottoming in 5 easy steps.
Don’t believe what you see in the movies – anal sex isn’t just a stick-it-in kind of situation, without any prior practice. The asshole actually needs to take time learning how to open up on command, in order to prevent your skin and underlying muscle from tearing, possibly creating fissures and other potential injuries. This requires both mental and physical exercise, specifically the training of your external sphincter, superficial sphincter, and internal sphincter. That’s where anal dilation exercises come in (no pun intended). For a complete tutorial on how to train your booty muscles, check out Future Method’s how-to guide, where they break things down step-by-step.
Diet & Douching
It’s important to shift the way you think about readiness because it should really be a gut-to-butt approach. For most of us, feeling confident to bottom starts with altering our diet (read: not starving ourselves, but simply avoiding foods that can cause bloating, an upset stomach, or a trip to the bathroom), incorporating daily fiber supplements, and honing in on what and when we’re eating in relation to when we’re bottoming. Try to avoid things like processed foods, artificial sweeteners, fermented dairy products, spicy foods, and oily/greasy foods and instead opt for low fat proteins, like fish, red meat, and tofu; and foods that are high in soluble fibers, like fresh fruits, veggies, and leafy greens.
And that leads us to douching. If you work on the above and listen to your body, douching should be a quick and simple final step in the preparation process (hell, it may not even be necessary!). Douching is really about cleansing your rectum to get rid of any lingering fecal matter that may still be present. You don’t want to douche so much or with the wrong solution that you cause irritation, disruption, or even trauma to the cells in your rectum. Future Method developed a first-of-its-kind anal douche powder mix specifically for this reason. You simply mix their powder with water to create a liquid that’s pH-balanced, isotonic, and iso-osmolar powder. In layman's terms, that means it’s compatible with our body’s natural composition. More commonly used products, like tap water and store-bought enemas, can irritate the lining of the rectum and affect your anal microbiome, disrupting the normal balance of the good bacteria and bad bacteria that resides there. As a result, there’s a chance that micro-cuts and tears can happen, along with other significant complications. We want to avoid this at all costs!
Contrary to popular belief, not all bottoms are submissive and not all tops are dominant. When first starting out with anal sex, the dynamics should actually switch. We suggest the bottom get on top of their top (who should be lying down on their back). This allows the bottom to be in full control – adjusting the depth and speed of thrusting to fit their level of comfort. Once – and only once – the bottom has reached full relaxation and they’re not experiencing any pain or discomfort, feel free to change things up! You’ll find that every body is different and some booties and penises or strap-ons fit better in some positions than others, so experiment until you find the ones that you both enjoy most.
There is no such thing as too much lube. And, no, spit doesn’t count! The best lube for anal play is silicone because it’s super slippery (reducing any kind of bad friction) and can withstand both short and long sessions, even though you’ll still want to reapply as you go. Just be careful because it will stain any fabric it comes in contact with. A helpful tip: apply copious amounts of lube to both the penis or strap-on as well as the hole. Then, have the top insert themselves, wait a few seconds, and then slowly pull all the way out. Reapply copious amounts of lube, and then do it all over again. This will also help relax the sphincters of the bottom. Everybody wins!
Since the main objective of sex is to give and receive pleasure, open and honest communication should be an integral part of the experience. Without it, how is each person going to know what feels amazing and what doesn’t? Don’t be afraid to tell your partner “do more of that!” or “let’s switch things up” because the more you share, the better your orgasms will be. Speaking of orgasms, for most people, the more you come, the more pleasure you and your partner can experience. To help support this, why not try a urologist-developed supplement, like Popstar, which promotes increased sperm volume, as well as enhanced taste.
In the End, Have Fun
Bottoming should bring pleasure to everyone involved. When you have the right resources and accessories, and a patient partner, you’re setting yourself up for a wild ride – but the good kind. That’s why it’s so important to seek out quality products, like anal-safe lubes, body-compatible douches, and doctor-developed supplements. We hope this helps bring you the confidence to conquer your first – and every – bottoming session.