SEX STUFF

Watching Porn with your Partner

Posted by Christine Castellani on

Watching Porn with your Partner

Partner Porn. 

No, it isn’t some obscure category at the Winter Olympics like ski ballet or synchronized skating. Partner Porn, or watching porn with your partner, is an activity that can spice up your sex life and boost the quality of your committed relationship! 

When we think of watching porn, we tend to think of it as a solo activity, like sexy Solitaire.  However, research suggests that watching porn with your partner is not only a fun way to connect but can also strengthen your sexual communication! As always, Popstar Labs has the tips (and not just the tip) on how to keep you and your partner satisfied. Here is our pornographic PSA on partner porn best practices and how it can improve your relationship! 

How watching porn can benefit you and your bae.

1.) Porn puts you in the mood

While sex isn’t everything, having a healthy sex life plays a crucial role in the success of a healthy relationship. That being said, it isn’t always easy to be on the same “sexual clock.” Perhaps your partner already beat the bishop that morning. Maybe you had a stressful day at work, and a glass of pinot and your pillow are all you have energy for. Watching porn together can stoke your sexual flames and get you and your partner on the same sexual page, putting you both in the mood to knock some boots! 


2.) Revive redundant sexual routines

After a while, sex can become part of your mundane routine, like flossing or walking your dog. If you are in a long-term relationship, your sexual habits can become stale. “Making love” can become “making like.” If you’re tired of having the same thirteen minutes of Missionary to the tune of a Schitt’s Creek rerun you’ve seen seven times in the background, porn may be the key. Porn can help you pioneer your sexual fantasies. You can acknowledge your desires and recognize your limitations. You can quickly identify your turn-ons and turn-offs as you watch them play out in front of you. If you and your partner are visual learners, porn is the perfect way to convey your fantasies and get out of your usual romp rut.


3.) Communicate to fornicate! 

Sharing your porn preferences with your partner can be daunting. Will they think it’s weird? Will they laugh? Will they, God forbid, kink shame?! Side note: there should be no kink-shaming; it’s 2022. Watching porn with your partner and seeing your fantasies play out on screen can normalize your potentially “taboo” desires. Partner porn can also inspire you to have deeper conversations regarding intimacy, ultimately leading to a more in-tune sexual relationship.


How to talk to your partner about porn

Before having the conversation with your partner, you must ask yourself a few questions. Why do I want to watch porn with my partner? What am I hoping will come out of this experience? Do I think it will help us grow closer? Will I learn more about my partner’s needs? Do I think it will just be a fun thing to do? Answering these questions will help you clearly communicate with your partner.


2.) Having the conversation 

It is essential to have a casual conversation with your partner on the topic. We wouldn’t recommend having “Two Girls, One Cup” pulled up on airplay when your partner gets back from brushing their teeth. A surprise may not be the best tactic. Surprises may be great for a milestone birthday, but not partner porn. It also may be an uncomfortable situation to bring up. Your partner may take you wanting to spice up your sex life personally. We don’t want them to feel like they don’t satisfy you. Assure them that it is only to strengthen your sexual bond above all else. We recommend that you do not have this conversation while you are already having sex. Like any sexual situation, it is important to be gentle at first. The last thing you want to do is go in with no lube!


3.) Comfort is crucial

While we can feel our sexiest in the bedroom, it is also when we can feel the most vulnerable. It is important to create a safe space for both you and your partner. Listen to their needs, and respect their space and boundaries. Ask them the kind of porn they usually watch and what kind they envision themselves watching with you. It is crucial to know where their boundaries are and the hard no’s. Where do they sexually draw the line? What is pleasurable and exciting to you, may not be for others.

Knowing the perfect place to start is key to creating a safe space. It may be better to air on the more conservative side with your video selection. Make sure to find some kinky common ground. This will be unique to every couple based on your personality and style. It is also important to take into consideration how you and your partner feel about the production choices behind the porn you watch. We recommend looking into ethical porn, which is legally made and respects the parties involved and working conditions. 

Perhaps you want to show your partner your favorite amateur content creators just like you would show them your favorite series you recently binged. After all, sex work is work and why not use this experience to support your favorite creators?

Start with something fun and adventurous but don’t go balls to the wall right away (pun intended). Let’s not run before we walk.


4.) Now what?

Have fun and be patient with yourselves. It may not be the perfect fit the first time around but keep it up (literally). Watching porn with your partner will give your boudoir a boost and increase intimacy. Keep the lines of communication open, take it slow and enjoy! Best of luck and happy humping!