1. Position Overview
| Subject | Details |
|---|---|
| Alternate Names / Aliases | Queening, Kinging |
| Position Type | Oral (receiver seated, giver supine) |
| Orientation | Face-to-face, vertical alignment |
| Typical Roles | Partner A on top (receiver); Partner B lying below (giver) |
| Difficulty / Effort | Medium – balance and communication required |
| Common Strain Areas | Neck (Partner B), thighs and knees (Partner A) |
| Best For | Direct control of pressure and depth; intimacy and visual connection |
| Props Helpful | Pillows, wedge cushions, sturdy surface, lubricant |
| Safer-Sex Notes | Barriers (dental dam) recommended for oral-genital contact; maintain hygiene; monitor breathing and consent |
2. Introduction
Face-sitting, sometimes called queening or kinging, involves one partner sitting or kneeling over the other’s face for oral stimulation. It’s valued for the sense of control, intimacy, and connection it can foster when practiced with communication and safety in mind.
3. About the Position
In face-sitting, Partner B lies on their back, while Partner A positions themselves above or atop their face, typically aligning the pelvis within comfortable reach. This setup can be full-weight sitting, hovering, or kneeling depending on comfort and ability. The position can be adapted for different bodies, genders, and pairings, and may be modified with cushions, wedges, or different heights.
Face-sitting can allow the receiving partner (Partner A) to regulate contact and intensity while the providing partner (Partner B) maintains communication and breathing control. Effective verbal and non-verbal communication — like hand taps or signals — are essential for consent and safety.
4. How to Do It (Step-by-Step)
- Preparation: Choose a comfortable, clean, and stable surface such as a bed or firm couch. Discuss signals for stop, slow down, and continue.
- Setup: Partner B lies on their back. A small pillow or rolled towel can support their neck and shoulders to improve airflow and comfort.
- Positioning: Partner A kneels or lowers their pelvis above Partner B’s face, ensuring weight is distributed through knees or thighs rather than full pressure.
- Communication: Both partners should maintain open communication; Partner B must have a reliable way to signal discomfort or need for a break.
- Adjustment: Partner A can adjust height and weight distribution for comfort. Breathing and positioning breaks are recommended.
- Exit: Partner A shifts backward or to the side slowly while supporting themselves to avoid knee or wrist strain.
5. Anatomy & Mechanics
The position involves the pelvic floor, thigh, and core muscles for Partner A, and neck and jaw engagement for Partner B. Proper posture is crucial: Partner B’s neck should remain in a neutral position to avoid strain; props or wedges can prevent hyperextension. Partner A should avoid fully resting body weight unless agreed upon and the setup allows safe breathing.
Different body types may experience varied alignments; placing cushions under hips can fine-tune angles. For trans and nonbinary individuals, accessories or external aids can tailor comfort and affirmation.
6. Variations & Transitions
- Hovering Variation: Partner A hovers or kneels without full weight-bearing; ideal for beginners or those mindful of Partner B’s neck.
- Chair or Edge Variation: Partner B sits or reclines in a chair while Partner A faces toward or away, improving support and airflow.
- Reverse Orientation: Partner A faces away from Partner B’s face for different angles or sensations.
- Side-Lying Transition: Partners roll to a side-by-side posture to reduce fatigue.
These variations improve comfort and accessibility while maintaining safe dynamics.
7. Comfort, Safety & Risk Management
Breathing safety and weight distribution are the primary concerns. Partner B should always have a way to communicate if airflow becomes restricted. Signals or tap-outs prevent risk. Light body weight distribution via thighs rather than full sitting minimizes strain.
Regular hygiene is advised. Use of barriers such as dental dams can reduce STI transmission risk (CDC, Planned Parenthood). Adequate lubrication and hydration improve comfort. Avoid face-sitting when either partner has respiratory conditions or pelvic pain without consulting a healthcare professional.
During pregnancy or postpartum recovery, consult a clinician before attempting; alternative positions are often safer.
8. Accessibility & Inclusivity
For individuals with mobility limitations, a sturdy chair or wedge can provide safer leverage. People with chronic pain may prefer hovering or supported versions that minimize strain. Partners with neck or jaw conditions should avoid extreme flexion and use hands or pillows to support the head.
Trans, nonbinary, and gender-diverse partners may use support garments, positioning wedges, or prosthetics to ensure comfort and affirmation. Communication about comfort and dysphoria boundaries is essential.
9. Props, Surfaces & Setup
| Item / Prop | How It Helps | Tips for Use |
|---|---|---|
| Pillow/Wedge | Elevates hips and controls angle | Use under Partner B’s shoulders for easier breathing |
| Chair/Edge | Provides structure and stability | Choose a chair without wheels; Partner A can kneel to sustain balance |
| Lubricant | Reduces friction in oral or external contact | Use water-based or hybrid types for compatibility with barriers |
| Barrier (dental dam) | Prevents STI transmission through oral contact | Hold firmly or secure with a flavored water-based lubricant for comfort |
10. FAQs
- Is face-sitting safe? – Yes, when practiced with caution, communication, and proper breathing access.
- Can all genders and body types enjoy it? – Absolutely; modifications ensure comfort for diverse anatomies.
- Do I have to sit fully? – No. Hovering or supported positioning is safer for beginners.
- How do we protect against STIs? – Use barriers like dental dams during oral contact.
- Is it okay to use furniture props? – Yes, as long as surfaces are stable and padded.
- What if Partner B feels dizzy or struggles to breathe? – Stop immediately and ensure open airflow.
- Any privacy or hygiene tips? – Wash before and after, and use clean linen or towels.
- Can this trigger dysphoria for trans partners? – Possibly; open dialogue and affirmation are important.
- What about jaw or neck pain? – Limit duration, use head support, and take breaks.
- Does it require high flexibility? – No, most can adapt with supportive pillows and positioning.
- Can it be done during menstruation? – If both partners are comfortable and hygienic, yes; barrier use is advised.
- How can we improve communication? – Agree on signals, use time-outs, and check-in regularly.
11. Tips, Common Mistakes & Troubleshooting
Tips:
- Discuss limits and signals before starting.
- Position on stable, non-slippery surfaces.
- Distribute weight through thighs, not full sit.
- Use props to maintain comfort and alignment.
Common Mistakes:
- Ignoring breathing cues.
- Overweight on Partner B’s neck or chest.
- Poor surface stability leading to imbalance.
Troubleshooting:
- Adjust props and angles for comfort.
- If strain occurs, pause and stretch neck or thigh muscles.
- Keep communication ongoing; consent is continuous.
Professional sex educators emphasize that trust, communication, and gradual experimentation improve safety and connection (sources: Scarleteen, O.school, The Journal of Sexual Medicine).
12. Conclusion
Face-sitting combines intimacy, control, and connection when performed consensually and safely. It highlights partner communication, body awareness, and inclusivity. Suitable across gender identities and body types, it can be explored gently with trust, props, and proper safer-sex habits. Always prioritize comfort, breathing, and mutual enjoyment, and consult sexual health professionals for tailored advice when needed.
