how often do couples have sex

Cuffing Season Questions: How Often Do Couples Have Sex?

Written by: Dr. Joshua Gonzalez

Cuffing Season Questions

With the calendar year winding down and the holiday season just heating up, single people everywhere are preparing to celebrate another crucial season: Cuffing Season. For those of us who aren’t familiar with the term, Cuffing Season refers to a period of time when single people begin looking for short-term partnerships to pass the colder months of the year. The official definition, according to Ms. Merriam-Webster. Who knew!? During this time, Cuffing Season partners partake in cozy activities, like visiting holiday markets, drinking hot cocoa, decorating Christmas cookies, watching movies, binging tv shows, and, of course, fucking their brains out. But how often are these Cuffing Season partners consummating the temporary relationship? Is it more or less than those in a committed and longer-term relationship? Popstar Labs is back with the reason for the (cuffing) season and is here to discuss just how often couples have sex. Just a side note before we proceed: If you have a long-term, built-in cuffing season consort who has a year-round cuddling contract, we are talking to you, too!

How Often Should a Couple Have Sex?

Whether you’re in a committed, year-round relationship or partnered up for cuffing season, there is no accurate barometer of how often couples should be having sex. According to our research, the average couple (Cuffing season or long term) has sex about once per week. That said, there is nothing wrong with having it more or less. While some couples prefer to have sex every day that ends in “y,” others prefer something less frequent. The frequency of fornication can range from once a week to once a month. If you are just in it for Cuffing Season, you snow bunnies may only get a few chances to boink as the season ends just after Valentine’s Day. For long-term couples, once a month may not be ideal, but you have no looming deadline, so you needn’t worry!


Many factors go into what affects a couple’s sex life. Age is definitely a factor. It is very typical for your sex life to slow down as you get older. When you are in your 20s (the prime age for CF), you are most likely to be having sex around 80 times a year. By the time you reach age 45, the average drops to 60 times per year, and as you reach retirement, the average drops to 20 times yearly.

Relationship Status

Relationship status plays a role in how often someone is having sex. If you are in a relationship, sex is more readily available to you. It’s like having a penile fast pass at an amusement park; you cut the queue and are first in line for Space Mountain. It is easy to have sex when there is the same person in your bed every night. If you have a Cuffing Season partner, you probably already have your next cuddle on the calendar. You’ll watch a painfully cliche Hallmark holiday movie for 15 minutes and move to the bedroom. The cold weather of Cuffing Season breathes new life into Netflix and Chill (chill taking on two meanings). People in relationships, both long- and short-term, get to bypass all the hassle of having to get gussied up, go out to a bar, flirt tirelessly, and land a partner.

Work/Life Balance

Work/life balance can be a hindrance to your sex life. People who work 40 or more hours a week have sex significantly less than those who work only part-time. A part-time gig leaves more time for making love. This could be and should be used as an argument for offices to return to working remotely full-time. That way, at the very least, you can get lucky on your lunch break. With all the health benefits sex promotes, there is more of an argument than ever!

Health Benefits of Sex

While we are on the topic of health benefits, when you hear the health benefits of sex, you are going to make sure you up your fornication frequency. Sex is essential to both your physical and mental health. Sex improves your cardiovascular health. Like a spin class or the 12-3-30, knocking boots gets your blood pumping, improving your overall cardiovascular health. Sex is also a great stress reliever. Since stress can negatively impact our mental and physical health, making time for stress relief, like yoga or sex, is very important.

To reiterate, there is no perfect answer for how much you should be having sex. That being said, if you and your partner aren’t having as much sex as you would like, say something. It’s always better to open your mouth before you open your legs. Voice your concerns. Open communication lets you get to the root of the problem, should there even be one. The “problem” could be as simple as turning off the TV, putting down the phone or tablet, and prioritizing intimacy.

Could It be ED?

If the reason you aren’t having sex is due to a deeper issue, seeing a sex therapist is always an option. Couples counseling can be helpful for matters of sex or otherwise. If you are sex avoidant due to an underlying problem such as erectile dysfunction (ED), there are a number of ways to treat it. ED is a lot more common than most males think, and you can work with your healthcare provider to find the best course of action for you. Check out our  ED resources to learn more about the potential causes and treatment options.

We hope this has been a reminder of the true reason for the season: intimacy. Both emotional and hopefully physical. Whether you are in a long-term relationship or just in it for Cuffing Season, make time for sex!

Dr. Joshua Gonzalez

Dr. Joshua Gonzalez

Dr. Joshua Gonzalez is a board-certified urologist who is fellowship-trained in Sexual Medicine and specializes in the management of male and female sexual dysfunctions. He completed his medical education at Columbia University and his urological residency at the Mount Sinai Medical Center. Throughout his career, Dr. Gonzalez has focused on advocating for sexual health and providing improved healthcare to the LGBTQ+ community.