Harnesses, and dildos, and lubes, oh my! Guys, if your partner is knocking on the back door, you might want to let them in. Just like musical theater isn’t just for gays anymore, penetration isn’t just for our penises. But how do our non-penis having counterparts penetrate their partners? That is where pegging comes in. What is pegging, you may ask? Well it has nothing to do with pirates and no, it isn’t some new TikTok dance move. Pegging is a sexual act that involves a strap-on being used in anal penetration. Popstar is here with the tips (and a lot more than just the tip…of a strap-on) for a beginners guide to pegging.
Before we get into the how, we need to understand the why. Why go in the back door, you may ask? Well, there is something back there that is worth finding. One might think that your back door is a one-way street. Things are only meant to come out, not go in. That is where you would be wrong. How do we know, you ask? Well, we’ve all heard of a woman’s g-spot. Well, men have one as well, and it is located through none other than…drumroll, please…the back door! A man’s G-spot is the prostate, which can be found via the rectum. To learn more about the male G-spot, or P-spot in this case, check out our blog post here.
With anal penetration, a man can stimulate their P-spot and achieve a prostate orgasm, which is known to be more intense than a regular one. With or without the prostate, anal sex can still feel perfectly pleasant. The anal canal can have as many nerve endings as the head of the penis. If you are in a heterosexual relationship, the base of the dildo can also press against and stimulate the clitoris, making pegging enjoyable for the giver and receiver.
If you are in a long-term, monogamous relationship, sexual routines can hit a rut and become mundane. Pegging may be the answer to get things jalapeno popping, spice up your sex life, and get things back to how they were in the early stages of the relationship.
Now that we have the how and why of pegging, what are you going to need to get started? First thing on the checklist is open communication. While sexual exploration is completely normal, we don’t want to spring pegging on our partners. We wouldn’t recommend bursting through the bedroom door donning a strap-on without talking to your partner first.
The Pegging Starter Pack
Now that we’ve had our conversation and are ready to try pegging, let’s put together your pegging tool belt. The checklist is pretty short. You’re going to need: a harness, a dildo, and lubricant. When preparing your pegging starter pack, you have a number of options. You can buy a strap-on that comes with the dildo attached to the harness, or you can buy them separately. Purchasing them separately allows for more customization and makes sure everyone gets what they want. The giver can find a harness that they are excited to wear and the receiver can choose a dildo that they are excited to take.
Lube is going to be your best friend when it comes to pegging. A water based lube will help reduce friction and help everything run smoothly. After all, we are striving for pleasure, not pain (unless you’re into that). Plus, water-based lubricants are dildo-safe unlike some other kinds of lubes.
Pegging Prepwork
Think of pegging like the LSATs, only a lot more fun and a lot less stressful. But just like the LSATs, you are going to want to prepare. Just like any sexual activity, there should definitely be foreplay. We don’t want to cannonball into butt stuff. Setting the mood is important. Feel free to be a bit cliche for butt play by lighting candles and curating a sexy playlist! Take things slow and start out with kissing, fondling, and of course, oral.
Before we go inside, we have to take care of the outside. The giver can start by gently massaging the ring of muscles around the anus. Once you feel a bit more relaxed, slip a well lubed finger in gently making circles inside the anus, as well as slowly thrusting the finger in and out.
Just like the finger, you are going to want to put a generous amount of lube on the shaft of the dildo and the receiver's anus. Now you can assume the position: missionary to be exact. While missionary can be vanilla, it is the best position to help open the anal canal, plus you can easily communicate with your partner and connect. The giver isn’t going to want to pull the car in just yet, but rather leave it parked idling right outside the garage. Press the tip of the dildo at the entrance of the receiver’s anus.
In the wise words of Faith Hill, just breathe. The receiver should take a deep breath and as they exhale, the giver should slowly enter at a pace the receiver is comfortable with. Repeat this pattern until it feels comfortable before you take it to Pound Town. Of course, keeping open communication throughout the experience is key to make sure it is an enjoyable experience for both parties.
Post-Pegging
Pre-pegging and post-pegging have one thing in common: the communication needs to continue. It is important to have a conversation with your partner after trying something adventurous like pegging. You will want to check in with your partner to see what worked and what didn’t.
While the act of sex is already quite vulnerable, pegging can be especially vulnerable. For cisgender straight men, being penetrated can be foreign and elicit unpredicted emotions. Cuddling, acts of service like grabbing your partner a glass of water, and words of affirmation are important post pegging activities. Hell, just throw in the other two love languages while you’re at it. After all, you are exploring new things together to only strengthen your bond and keep that spark alive.
If you and your partner are looking to try something new, pegging may be just the thing for you. Just remember to lubricate and communicate while you fornicate!
