When it comes to sex, we have all heard of the g-spot, but it is probably something we associate with the female anatomy. Well, what if we told you men have their own version of the G-spot? The male g-spot, or p-spot, in this case, can be found in our prostate. If you are a gay man, you are probably very familiar with your prostate or p-spot. But prostate play isn’t just for the gays anymore. Popstar is back with the tips (and A LOT more than just the tip) on how to successfully incorporate prostate play into your sexual extracurriculars.

Before we can go any deeper (approximately a finger’s length), we have to know the who, what, when, where, and why of the prostate. The prostate is a gland located just below the bladder. Its primary function is to produce the fluid that nourishes and transports sperm. However, when incorporated into our sexual exploration, this walnut-sized gland can really change the way that we nut. Our prostate gland contains a ton of nerve endings that, when stimulated, can really knock your sexual socks off while you get your rocks off.

Now I know what you’re thinking: “How are we supposed to reach something behind our bladder?” That is a great question, indeed. Now that we are up to speed on the prostate, we need to learn how to reach and stimulate it properly. The p-spot can be stimulated both internally and externally. Locating and stimulating the p-spot is much easier to do from the outside and can take a lot less preparation.

If you are a bit of an anal neophyte and going through the back door seems daunting, don’t sweat it. No ass play, no problem! For our backdoor beginners, the prostate can also be stimulated from the outside. As aforementioned, it takes a lot less effort and prep work. The prostate can be stimulated through the perineum: the area between the scrotum and the anus. The perineum is more commonly known by some as the taint. Take your pointer and middle fingers. touch the taint, apply a little pressure, gently rub in a small circular motion, and voila! You can experience all the pleasure of the prostate without the stress of anal.

Reaching the male g-spot as an inside job will take a little more sexual exploration and prostate pioneering. Like we said, we will have to go through the back door. This can be daunting for someone who hasn’t dabbled in the back door arts and will take a bit more preparation. Hygiene is key when it comes anal play. Showering before going in the back door is always recommended so you can feel like a Neutrogena commercial: clean, clear, and under control. Some people prefer to use an enema prior to hitting the p-spot, but sometimes a thorough shower can suffice. It is also a great time to brush up on your shower singing repertoire.

Whether you or your partner are going for the prostate, you will want to make sure your nails are trimmed, and your hands are clean. It is also a great idea to use the restroom prior. It is very normal to feel like you have to go to the bathroom during prostate play. For peace of mind, make sure to relieve yourself prior so you can relax and enjoy the process.

Anal play is a lot like the classic tale of the Tortoise and the Hare: slow and steady wins the race. You can’t come in like a wrecking ball all Miley Cyrus-like. Start by gently massaging the outside of the hole and slowly make your way in. Remember to breathe, keep calm, and finger on. Lube is also a great way to ease your way in and make it a more pleasant experience for you or your partner.

Congrats, there’s a finger in your ass! Now what? Finding the prostate shouldn’t take too long as it is only a few inches in. Once you are there, press inward toward the internal wall of the perineum (think: pointing in the direction of your belly button) and slowly massage just like you would externally on the taint. We can’t stress enough to be gentle. You shouldn’t act like you are rapidly button-mashing like a Mario Party minigame. Remember the tortoise and the hare.

If using a finger isn’t for you, but you would still like to go up the butt, there are several other ways we can internally stimulate the prostate. Not using your hand doesn’t make you any less of a man (or woman). You can also use sex toys like plugs and even vibrators if a hand just isn’t your kind of plan!

Getting very familiar with the p-spot can take your sexual pleasure to the next level for you and your partner. Just like anything sex-related, communication is key, and consent is an absolute must. Make sure you are talking your way through it (at least at first) and always make sure to check in and verify your partner is comfortable!