First Time Sex Tips: Your Not-So-Scary Guide to Doing the Deed

Whether it’s candlelight and rose petals or a slightly lopsided IKEA mattress, your first time having sex can feel like a Really Big Deal. Thanks, Hollywood. The hype, the pressure, the secondhand tales from friends—it's all a lot. But here's the truth: your first time won’t define your sex life. It's not your sexual thesis defense. It’s the prologue. A clumsy and curious step into something you'll keep getting better at.

So, deep breath. Lube up. Let’s get into it.

Turning 18 might get you a lottery ticket and a vote, but sexual readiness? That’s built on a trio of essentials:

• Enthusiastic consent (this is the “hell yes,” not the “I guess”)

• Informed decisions (think contraception, STI prevention, and knowing what you’re signing up for)

• Emotional bandwidth (because sex can feel amazing, awkward, or a little like both)

This is about your timeline, not anyone else’s.

Pop culture has us expecting firework orgasms and perfectly choreographed thrusting right out the gate. Reality? Condoms don’t always open on the first try. Lube sometimes goes rogue. One of you might laugh nervously, or burp. That’s not a fail—it’s human. The best way to counter that pressure? Say what you're feeling. A simple “Kinda nervous, you?” does wonders.

If you're gearing up for your first time, think of it like prepping for a first hike. No one wants to summit Mt. Climax with the wrong gear. So here’s your starter pack:

• Condoms (yes, even if someone’s on birth control)

• Lubrication (we’ll gush about lube in a minute)

• Clean, comfy space

• Hydration (yes, really)

• A vibe that says “uninterrupted adulting,” not “roommate barges in mid-moan”

Pro tip: pee before. It reduces UTI risk and helps you relax.

Sexy isn’t always spontaneous. Sometimes it’s asking “When were you last tested?” before pants come off.
Use condoms. Every time. Especially for first-time sex. They’re the only over-the-counter ED pills—wait, scratch that—only over-the-counter protection that covers both pregnancy and STIs.

Also worth knowing:

• Spermicide? Not solo protection.

• Plan B? Great in emergencies, not a routine plan.

• Choosing birth control methods? Talk it out together. Bonus intimacy points.

Penises curve. Labia come in all sizes. Erections vary in firmness. Lubrication changes depending on hydration, cycle, stress, and mood. Bottom line: no one has a "perfect" body.

Pro tip: Get familiar with your own gear before bringing someone else into the party. Solo sessions help reduce performance anxiety and teach you what you like.

Foreplay is not the opening act. It’s the damn show. It preps the body, builds emotional connection, and makes the whole thing more enjoyable. It also helps with vaginal lubrication, arousal, and orgasm potential.

And yes, we’re talking about:

• Kissing

• Touching

• Oral sex

• Mutual masturbation

• All of the above

Start slow, stay curious, and enjoy the build.

Dry friction is for campfires, not genitals. Whether you’re having vaginal or anal sex (or both), lube is non-negotiable.

Here’s your cheat sheet:

• Water-based : Easy to wash, safe with toys

• Silicone : Longer-lasting, water-play friendly

• Oil-based : No-go with latex condoms

Using lubrication during sex isn't just nice—it's important for safety, comfort, and minimizing microtears.

Keep it simple. Missionary may not be groundbreaking, but it’s great for first time sex tips—eye contact, feedback, easy rhythm control.

Other friendly options:

• Cowgirl : Lets the receiving partner set the pace

• Spooning : Low pressure, intimate, cozy

• Hands-only or oral : Yes, those count as sex too.

You don’t need to try every page of the Kama Sutra. Get comfortable before you get acrobatic.

Mild discomfort? Totally normal. Sharp pain? Hit the brakes.
If it’s not working, try:

• More lube

• Slower movements

• Fingering or smaller toys first

• Changing angles

And if your body’s saying “not tonight,” listen to it. Mutual pleasure > pushing through.

Worried you won’t last long? Lose your erection? Not impress your partner with your sexpertise? Join the club. It’s called being human.

Performance anxiety is common—especially during first time sex. Deal with it by:

• Taking pressure off orgasm goals

• Focusing on connection

• Using breathwork to chill out

• Giving yourself grace

And if it’s ongoing, talk to a provider. Sometimes it’s medical, not mental.

Let’s break a myth: everyone does NOT climax the first time.

• Clitoral stimulation is often key for people with vulvas

• People with penises may finish fast (normal!)

• Orgasms may not happen at all (also normal!)

This isn’t a competition. Shared pleasure counts. So does laughing halfway through.

Aftercare is that sweet post-sex vibe that tells your body and your brain: you’re safe.

Try this:

• Cuddle

• Hydrate

• Snack

• Pee (especially vulva-havers—hello UTI prevention)

• Ask, “How are you feeling?”

Whether you're floating or a little teary, emotional aftercare helps close the loop.

• Used condoms go in the trash (not the toilet).
• Toys get a soap-and-water rinse.
• Sheets? Cold soak before washing.
• And if there’s emotional clean-up? That’s valid too.

Cleanup = part of the experience. Embrace it. Maybe even make it part of round two.

Post-sex blues? Not uncommon. You might feel vulnerable, overthinky, or euphoric. Normalize all of it.

A few reminders:

• Talk it out with your partner

• Journal or reflect solo

• Distinguish between discomfort and actual regret

• Seek help if something didn’t feel consensual

Your feelings are valid—whatever shape they take.

Your first time might be oral, anal, or with a toy. Maybe it’s mutual masturbation. Maybe you’re queer and this whole blog already felt hetero—hi, we see you.

No matter the form, the rules stay the same:

• Consent

• Communication with sexual partner

• Protection

• Comfort

And yes, Popstar Personal Lubricants are here to support all your slippery milestones.

Your first time isn’t the grand finale. It’s the pilot episode. The meet-cute with your own sexuality. Whether it’s fireworks or fumbles, it’s one moment in a much bigger journey of pleasure, intimacy, and self-discovery.

So take your time. Be safe. Bring the lube. And remember—Popstar’s got your back (and your bits). Whether it’s our Delay Spray for lasting longer, our Volume + Taste Supplement for a better finish, or our Personal Lubricants for smoother everything, we’re here for the long game.