Cue the opening number of the cinematic masterpiece Grease 2 cause it’s time to go back, back, back to school! Summer is winding done and September is just around the corner! Even those of us who have long since turned our tassels on our graduation caps, still associate September with going back to school.

Nothing says “back-to-school” like a doorbusters Old Navy commercial. But there is possibly nothing more back-to-school than a vocabulary lesson. Class is back in session as Popstar brushes you up on the 10 Sex Slang Terms you didn’t know. Are you going to be the teacher’s pet and make the grade? Let’s break open those books, shall we?

While we are starting off with one that you may know, it's always good to back-to-basics for back-to-school! This one goes out to you for all the former Horse Girls in the chat. Bareback refers to sexual penetration without the use of a condom. Here at Popstar, we are proponents of “no glove, no love” but we also support your choice to fornicate how you see fit. That is, as long as you’re being safe. Riding bareback could require other forms of contraceptives, more frequent STI screenings, or in certain situations, PrEP. 

What goes around, cums around? That’s the saying, right? A boomawang is a male organ that is curved, almost in an “L” shape. Sometimes a little curve couldn’t hurt, right? Some would say that a lowercase “l” can help hit the capital “G-spot.” That being said, if your penis is too curved, it could be due to an underlying health condition, like Peyronie’s Disease.

Time for second period: science class. Think of yourself as the sun in this sexual scenario. If you are a Leo or have any Leo in your chart, you are no stranger to thinking you’re the center of the universe. Orbiting is when your ex-partner makes themselves known by liking your posts or watching your stories on social media to let you know that they are still (sexually) available. They are remaining in your orbit. Get it? I think we all have been the sun and a satellite at some point in our dating history.

On the list of appropriate reasons for being tardy you might have: your alarm didn’t go off, car trouble, or traffic. What about inappropriate reasons? The term postboned refers to someone being late due to an unplanned sexual encounter. While I am sure we all do the best we can to schedule our dick appointments (DA), you never know when the opportunity for a spontaneous roll in the hay may present itself. Regardless, should you be late to a college class, work, or a friend’s housewarming due to sexual reasons, you now have the proper terminology for it. 

Time for a vocab and math lesson all in one. Procrastinating + masturbating = procrasturbating! Procrasturbating or procrasturbation is the act of putting off other tasks by pleasuring yourself. While masturbation should be a part of your regular self-care routine, it shouldn’t impede you from getting your day-to-day tasks accomplished. The last thing you want is to miss a work deadline or flunk a class because you were busy beating the bishop.

I believe it was Lorde who said, “We’ll never be royals.”

Well, we are here to prove her wrong. Anyone can be a queen with the proper throne. In this case, the throne is your partner's face. Queening is nothing more than a fancy term for a vagina-having person sitting on someone’s face. Think of this as a horny take on the homecoming queen. Or perhaps home-cumming queen.

This goes out to all my former (or current) band geeks. I see you, I salute you. The Rusty Trombone is when someone performs a rim job while reaching around and simultaneously giving a hand job. If you can successfully pull off a Rusty Trombone, you are living proof that people really can multitask. The Rusty Trombone will certainly have your partner hitting high notes as the crescendo to their climax.

Makes me think of one of the best school subjects: lunch. That being said, sporking has nothing to do with food, or the utensil, for that matter. Sporking is a variation of spooning when a penis-having individual, spoons their partner and then achieves an erection. Plain and simple!

Coming off the summer 2024 Olympic Games, one would think water sports refers to the 200m breaststroke, water polo, or perhaps, even surfing. In the bedroom, water sports take on a different meaning entirely. Water sports refers to the incorporation of urine in erotic play. If you are a first-time water sports athlete, try peeing on your partner in the shower for a low-stakes, easy-cleanup environment. Test the waters to see if it is worth taking your water sports (s)extra-curricular into the deep end, from the bathroom to the bedroom.

While it may alphabetized at the beginning of the alphabet, it definitely comes at the end of an orgasm. Any sexual experience should end with aftercare . Regardless of where your sex falls on the vanilla to BDSM spectrum, aftercare should be something that everyone incorporates into their sex lives. Aftercare can include post-coital cuddling, washing one another in the shower afterward, or making sure your partner is comfortable with everything you just experienced together. Aftercare is especially important if you and your partner just (consentingly, of course) explored a new kink or fetish. It’s like Allstate, but for sex. You want to make sure your partner knows they are in good hands. 

Well students, thus conclude our boning brush-up lesson. We hope that as you turn your tassels, you are turned on and are in the know on sex slang terms! Class dismissed!