If you’ve been alive since at least the Clinton administration, chances are you’ve heard of 69. It’s one of those sex positions that lives rent-free in pop culture, bathroom stalls, and horny group chats. But despite its infamy, the 69 sex position is often misunderstood, over-hyped, and wildly under-executed.

Let’s fix that. Whether you’re doing it for the first time or trying to reclaim the magic from your college dorm days, here’s your grown-up, no-holds-barred guide to one of the most iconic (and occasionally acrobatic) positions in the playbook.

Let’s break it down with no fluff. 69 is when two partners engage in simultaneous oral sex, usually arranged in a head-to-crotch alignment—think yin and yang, but hornier.

Named for its visual resemblance to the number, 69 has been around longer than your favorite boy band and doesn’t discriminate. It can be done between any two consenting adults regardless of gender. Penis, vulva, tongue, lips, and hands—everyone’s welcome at this party.

Like pineapple on pizza or Nicolas Cage, 69 is divisive. Some people adore the mutual pleasure and erotic energy, while others find it distracting, awkward, or downright overrated. The truth? They’re all right. It comes down to preference, comfort, and communication.

Pros:

• Efficient pleasure : Two birds, one position.

• Power dynamics : It’s the ultimate sexual equalizer. Everyone’s vulnerable, and everyone’s in control.

• Visuals : If you’re into watching your partner go to town on you while you return the favor, this is prime real estate.

Cons:

• Distractions galore : Giving and receiving at the same time can feel like trying to pat your head and rub your belly while doing taxes.

• Height differences : Not every body lines up perfectly.

• Neck strain : It’s real, and it’s not sexy.

But fear not. A little prep and some real-talk tips can turn this potentially chaotic position into a mutually mind-blowing experience.

Spoiler alert: good 69ing is less about flexibility and more about intention. Here’s how to set yourself up for success:

1. Pick Your Angle Wisely

There are a few variations:

• Classic Horizontal : One partner lies on top, the other on bottom, both facing opposite directions.

• Side-by-Side : Lying next to each other, still head-to-crotch. Great for lazy Sundays and less neck strain.

• Standing or Seated : Advanced-level stuff. Proceed only if you trust your core and your furniture.

Pro tip: Pillows are your friend. A firm cushion under the neck or hips can make a huge difference in comfort and alignment.

2. Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness

Mutual oral means mutual exposure. A quick rinse or shower beforehand can go a long way. Not because your parts are dirty, but because you’ll both relax more knowing everyone’s fresh. If you want to go the extra mile, now’s a great time to try Popstar’s Personal Lubricant—it’s body-safe, gentle, and makes everything feel silkier.

3. Take Turns Focusing

Yes, it’s a “simultaneous” act, but that doesn’t mean both people need to be full-throttle the entire time. It’s totally okay to let your partner take the lead while you focus on enjoying (and catching your breath) before switching roles. Trust us, your tongue and your pelvic floor will thank you.

4. Talk It Out (With Your Mouths Full Later)

Before you even lock lips—or bits—discuss what feels good, what doesn’t, and how you’ll communicate. A tap on the thigh, a squeeze of the hand, or even a moan can mean “keep going” or “try something else.” Don’t guess. Make it a team effort.

Let’s get real: not everyone’s built for porn-star pretzels. But that doesn’t mean you can’t make this position work for you.

For Bigger Bodies:

Side-by-side positioning helps reduce pressure and makes access easier. Use firm pillows to prop up your head and hips for better angles without sacrificing comfort.

For Partners With Height Differences:

If one person is significantly taller, align hips rather than heads. You might need to scoot, bend knees, or get a little creative with furniture height.

For Anyone with Back or Neck Issues:

Limit time in position, alternate with breaks, or opt for a hands-free variation where one partner focuses on receiving while the other handles the giving. There’s no shame in adjusting the script to suit your needs.

Whether you’re in a gay, lesbian, bi, or pansexual relationship—or something else entirely—69 can be tailored to your dynamic. Here’s how:

• Penis + Penis : Try lying on your sides in a head-to-groin direction. Mutual oral can be interspersed with handplay or ball stimulation. Bonus points if you use the Popstar Delay Spray first for longer enjoyment.

• Vulva + Vulva : Scissor-style 69ing can be incredibly intimate. Add fingers or toys to explore external and internal pleasure.

• Penis + Vulva : Classic top-bottom 69 is common here. Be mindful of weight distribution and feel free to switch positions halfway through for balance.

Sex isn’t one-size-fits-all. The best 69 position is the one that fits your body and your vibe.

Sex isn’t a movie. Real-life 69 might include:

• Someone farting. It happens. Laugh it off.

• Timing issues. You’re about to finish and your partner suddenly goes off-script with an experimental tongue flick? Yup. Have a safe word or a signal.

• Hair. In your mouth. Everywhere. Tie it back if needed.

• Chin cramps. Stretch your jaw, hydrate, and take breaks.

Own the awkward. It’s part of the fun.

Want to level up your 69 game? Try:

• Vibrating toys : A bullet vibe tucked into the action can add hands-free stimulation while you’re multitasking.

• Popstar Volume + Taste Supplement : If taste is a concern, this supplement supports healthy volume and taste with clinically-backed ingredients. Because let’s be honest, flavor matters when your face is front row.

At its best, 69 is the ultimate expression of sexual generosity. It’s about giving while receiving, tuning into your partner’s pleasure while amplifying your own. And yes, it can get a little messy, a little silly, and a lot intense—but that’s exactly what makes it memorable.

As long as both of you are into it, and you’ve got good communication, comfort, and maybe a little lube on your side, 69 can go from “meh” to “hell yes” real fast.

So go ahead, flip it, reverse it, and get horizontal. Your sex life deserves a little nostalgic fun—with adult-level upgrades.